Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
