Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
