I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
