Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
so let's talk penis.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
