i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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