I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Houston, we have a squirter
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize