his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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