Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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