I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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