with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize