Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
