Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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