She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
