That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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