if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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