I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
my shit smells like andre
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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