fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
