Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Pants 0. Shit 1.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize