Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
