K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Randomize
