pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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