If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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