I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
