It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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