Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
