He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
