"it" just moved
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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