Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
