Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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