Don't you send me to vm
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
