I hate your face
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
