You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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