woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
