Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
