I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
