32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
