I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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