you have to choose: penises or morals?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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