if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
