Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
