At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize