I seem to have left my pride at pride
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
