are you so shy because you have an std?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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