At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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