What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
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