He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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