the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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