2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize