Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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