Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Just puked most of my soul out..
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
