you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
