You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
