So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
