Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
