it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
