Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Randomize
