he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
