Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
