he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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