Im at strip club and am horny
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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