Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i think my tv is drunk
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
