not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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